Monday, August 3, 2009

McCartney V McCartney?

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It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.





News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"





"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this"





After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.





It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.





Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".





Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"





Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.








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A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says, "try Paul McCartney"


Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:


I lay upon a grassy bank


My hands were all a quiver


I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river





These jokes are funny but let's spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.





Sir Paul offered the gold-digging b*tch a £20,000,000 settlement. Her lawyer advised her to take the money and run. She tried... and fell over.

McCartney V McCartney?
Giggles...... funny!!! 10/10
Reply:Cruel, as the jokes were, you have a great sense of humour.
Reply:thanks for the laugh.
Reply:i once pulled a bird with 1 leg but did not notice it. we got back to her place %26amp; she went upstairs saying "follow me up in 5 minutes"


i went up %26amp; she was lying on the bed %26amp; i said "where's your other leg?"


"over there on the dressing table" she replied


so i said "has one of my exes been telling you how wide you have to spread your legs?"
Reply:The previous Mrs.MsCartney was good for a few laughs too........What do you call a dog with wings?
Reply:do you also find it funny that kids have lost their limbs to meningitis. would you make a joke of it. i can laugh at most things but not disability.



scooter

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