Please help would you help out your fiance if he had money problems?

i have been divorced for 5yrs which has left me heavy in debt. my fiance of 7 months has alot more money than i do. She just came back from a trip to europe always has a new car and has more disposable income than i do. I asked her if she could help me out with my debt( i have over 20k on c.c)and she said no she wants to keep her money in her stocks. i don't know how to feel now if the shoe was on the other foot i would give her the money.I make more than she does but with my child care payments she takes home more.Right now we live together and split the bills 50/50. I feel if she loved me she would want to help me get back on my feet. Was i wrong to ask her to help me pay off my debt from my last marrage?

Please help would you help out your fiance if he had money problems?
You weren't wrong to ask. She WAS smart to say no. You have been single for 5 years. You should have gotten your fiances straightened out before this. As for child care expenses, you made them, you pay for them. I hope your lady is smart enough to not marry you until and unless you learn to manage your money, and grow up enough to stop expecting others to bail you out of your own financial mistakes.
Reply:well when you guys get married you are supposed to be a team but u can't make her do something she doesnt want to and I dont see anything wrong with asking because if you dont ask you dont know
Reply:YIOU ARE WAAAY OFF BASE! You shouldn't even consider going into a serious relationship with that kind of debt! How dare you ask your woman to pay YOUR debts off. I remember when my sister was still engaged to her husband, she found out he had some major c.c. bills and she made him pay them Off! before they walked down the aisle. Your fiance didn't have anything to do with the debt you incurred from your last marriage, or the child support that YOU are responsible for your children. I don't blame her one bit for keeping her money in her stocks. You don't sound like you're worth even an investment of time!
Reply:What's love got to do with the fact thet YOU are in debt? She didn't create your debt, you did. Suck it up and be a man! Handle your own business. If she were smart, she would dump you.
Reply:I PERSONALLY THINK THAT YOU WERE WRONG TO ASK HER. I COULDN'T BEGIN TO IMAGINE ASKING SOMEONE FOR FINANCIAL HELP -- UNLESS IT'S A BANK!!!





UNTIL THE TWO OF YOU GET MARRIED, THEN YOUR DEBT IS YOUR DEBT. PERIOD. NOW, WHEN MY HUSBAND AND I GOT MARRIED, I HAD QUITE A BIT OF DEBT AND HE DIDN'T. AND EVEN THOUGH WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 4 YEARS NOW, I HAVE NEVER ASKED HIM TO HELP BAIL ME OUT. (I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT WE HAVE SEPARATE CHECKING ACCOUNTS.) I REFUSE TO GIVE UP MINE AN HE REFUSES TO GIVE UP HIS. SO WE HAVE SEPARATED THE BILLS EVENLY.......WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY PRIOR BILLS. I FEEL THAT SINCE IT WAS MY DEBT BEFORE, THEN IT'S MY DEBT NOW. MAYBE I'M CRAZY IN THINKING THIS WAY. ALL OF MY FRIENDS THINK SO. BUT THAT'S JUST HOW I AM.





I'M ALL ABOUT THIS: IF YOU DUG THE HOLE, THEN YOU LIE IN THAT SUCKER.
Reply:Indirectly she will be helping you with your debt since the payoff will come out of the household income, seems like she is very smart for keeping the money in investments, she would have no obligation or reason to pony up the money to pay off your debt for you, I would never have asked her to.
Reply:no you weren't wrong in asking her. you guys are supposed to be a "team". helping each other out. maybe she is scared that you just want the money and will use it to get out of debt than leave her. explain to her maybe your reasons why you want to get out of debt such as perhaps before you guys get married so you can have a financially stable household.
Reply:She should NOT pay off your debts.
Reply:She has given you her answer about the money,and it was "no". Don't keep harping on it or you will ruin your relationship.





You need a new spending plan that actually fits YOUR situation. Ask your fiance to help you with that, since she seems better with money and planning. Maybe she could pay a larger portion of the bills (that is what I do at home, since I get paid more); but asking her for money outright (I get the sense you are not planning on paying her back) will probably cause problems down the line.


In the end, it was your descisions that got you into debt, you should be the one to get yourself out.
Reply:Maybe she thinks you only want her for her money. I'm not sure if I would, I suppose it would depend on the situation.
Reply:Why should she give you money SHE has earned? She is paying half of the bills which is as it should be. She is not responsible for you meeting YOUR financial obligations. She is smart not to give you any of the money SHE has earned, obviously she is a very wise woman and that wisdom has paid off for her to enable her to go on vacations and enjoy what life has to offer. YOUR child support and other financial obligations are not her responsibility. I suggest you seek a second job or a loan from a bank if you need more money.
Reply:"if the shoe was on the other foot i would give her the money"


That is why you are in debt and she can go to europe.





I say dig yourself out.
Reply:Once you get married you two are a team and should help each other out and I guess if you live together now its the same difference. I don't think you can expect her to be paying off debt thought that you and your ex-wife accumulated. You wouldn't want to pay for a home or a car that say your fiances ex was living in or driving. I can see how both of you would feel. Good luck!!
Reply:You should not expect your fiance to pay for your past relationship, or old debt. She has worked hard to get to a secure financial position and she would be unwise to compromise that now. Take stock of your situation and have an honest discussion with her about each of your expectations financially once you are married. Otherwise, you could be headed for more trouble. Good luck.



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