BEST joke ever....pee your pants laughing because its true!?

69 Things to do in Wal-Mart





* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.


* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.


* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.


* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.


* Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, %26#039;%26#039;I need some tampons!!%26#039;%26#039;


* Try on bras over top of your clothes.


* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.


* While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible %26#039;%26#039;Sex and Candy%26#039;%26#039;


* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, %26#039;%26#039;I think we%26#039;ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,%26#039;%26#039; and see what happens.


* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to %26#039;%26#039;10.%26#039;%26#039;


* Play with the automatic doors.


* Walk up to complete strangers and say, %26#039;%26#039;Hi! I haven%26#039;t seen you in so long!...%26#039;%26#039; etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.


* While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, %26#039;%26#039;Who BUYS this ****, anyway?%26#039;%26#039;


* Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.


* Put pairs of women%26#039;s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.


* Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.


*. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.


* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, %26#039;%26#039;Wow. Magic!%26#039;%26#039;


* Put M%26amp;M%26#039;s on layaway.


* Move %26#039;%26#039;Caution: Wet Floor%26#039;%26#039; signs to carpeted areas.


* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you%26#039;ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.


* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.


* Nonchalantly %26#039;%26#039;test%26#039;%26#039; the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.


* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,%26#039;%26#039;...I%26#039;m Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!%26quot;


* TP as much of the store as possible.


* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.


* Play with the calculators so that they all spell %26#039;%26#039;hello%26#039;%26#039; upside down. (01134)


* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, %26#039;%26#039;Why won%26#039;t you people just leave me alone?%26quot;


* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, %26#039;%26#039;Red Rover!%26#039;%26#039;


* Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.


* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.


* Take bets on the battle described above.


* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)


* While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.


* While no one%26#039;s watching, quickly switch the men%26#039;s and women%26#039;s signs on the doors of the restrooms.


* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from %26#039;%26#039;Mission: Impossible.%26#039;


* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.


* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.


* Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone%26#039;s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.


* Set up a %26#039;%26#039;Valet Parking%26#039;%26#039; sign in front of the store.


* Two words: %26#039;%26#039;Marco Polo.%26#039;


* Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.


* %26#039;%26#039;Re-alphabetize%26#039;%26#039; the CDs in Electronics.


* In the auto department, practice your %26#039;%26#039;Madonna%26#039;%26#039; look with various funnels. * Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like %26#039;%26#039;the fat man walks alone,%26#039;%26#039; and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.


* While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying %26#039;%26#039;How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.%26#039;%26#039; Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.


* When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, %26#039;%26#039;No, no! It%26#039;s those voices again!%26#039;%26#039;


* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.


* Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don%26#039;t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.


* Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying %26#039;%26#039;Good girl, good Bessie.%26quot;


* Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.


* When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.


* Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.


* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.


* Test the fishing rods and see what you can %26#039;%26#039;catch%26#039;%26#039; from the other aisles.


* In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: %26#039;%26#039;Hi! (giggle) What%26#039;s your sign? (giggle).%26#039;%26#039; When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. %26#039;%26#039;Hi! (giggle) What%26#039;s your sign? (giggle).%26#039;%26#039;


* Hold indoor shopping cart races.


* Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.


* When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles. * Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.


* Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. * Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.


* Say things like, %26#039;%26#039;Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?%26#039;%26#039;


* Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., %26#039;%26#039;Do you have any Shnerples here?%26#039;%26#039;


* Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you%26#039;re taking it for a %26#039;%26#039;test drive.%26#039;%26#039;


* Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.


* Get boxes of condoms and randomly slip them into peoples%26#039; carts when they aren%26#039;t paying attention.

BEST joke ever....pee your pants laughing because its true!?
wow, there%26#039;s a lot of things to do at walmart, that%26#039;s funny and true !!!


:-D


thanx 4 the laugh


i think i%26#039;ll try some of those
Reply:heres another one i saw on an email to a friend: go into the dressing rooms, wait and yell %26#039;%26#039;there%26#039;s no toilet paper in here!%26quot; Report It

Reply:weird. A wal mart just opened up today here we are at. lol. Sad thing is I read thru your list, you wouldn%26#039;t last long..but they are funny. not pee your pants funny. but all the same
Reply:lol wow do u ever sleep;P♣
Reply:you forgot about going in and out the doors to see if the greeter says hi every time
Reply:sorry not funny...
Reply:Add this one: when they are doing the free samples of eats and stuff, take one, gobble it down, grab your throat, wheeze and fall to the floor kicking and grunting. Once you have an audience, stand and take a bow.





I did this in the Walmart in Athens Alabama, and drew a standing ovation, and was escorted out of the store, my wife laughed so hard she peed her pants.
Reply:I sure didn%26#039;t pee in my pants (Thank God). But hey, gotta hand it to ya. That was some funny stuff. I liked the one about the tampons. Tnx for the laughs.


Peace Out!








True Lebanese Soldier.
Reply:Heard it before, but funny stuff!
Reply:LOL.





Have a great day!
Reply:Would you Please come to wal mart with me on my next trip
Reply:Ha ha!!!
Reply:I have seen this before. Funny...not pee in your pants funny, but funny.
Reply:i actually have a check list and some others, like the person said above, walk in and out the store and see if the greeter greets you every time...i%26#039;ve done this a few times...like putting the condoms in other peoples%26#039; carts it%26#039;s hilarious every time!!!!





i%26#039;m gonna print this and show it to my friends, and possibly do a few of these next time i visit wal*mart!!
Reply:You know, I thought me and MY friends were evil but that is great! Thanks for the tips!
Reply:i only read one thing and i know you right cause wall mart is mad fun
Reply:Omg, so funny. Really almost peed my pants, prob cause I would never have the guts to do any of that.
Reply:u have a lot of time `on your hands
Reply:Very imaginative. How long did it take you to come up with such a list?
Reply:So that is what I am doing wrong!


Thanks for the advise, I%26#039;m gonna go try it out now...lol
Reply:ha
Reply:awesome would it work in tescos
Reply:do u eat or sleep at all?
Reply:tee hee heee this was awsomely funny lol
Reply:hahaha!!!
Reply:I think doing these things would get you kicked out of walmart and have the law called on you or both. This is so immature. Who would really do these things??



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