Me and my friend need help...?

Me and my friend are typing up a story...it's about virtual shopping,,, we have to include imagery, dialogue and a simile... this is what we have so far:


I think that we should introduce a fun, new way to learn math skills, interaction with people, and money management, all in one system. The Shopper 3,002! You give us 400 dollars of virtual money that we can spend in a virtual mall. We are also able to go into the stores and try on virtual cloths which could include hats, sunglasses, and shoes! If you__________ you could get a job at one of the shops furthermore; you could learn responsibility. Work hard to impress your bosses and finally get that raise that you’ve been wanting! Use your earnings wisely to prevent becoming broke. Invest your money in a stock and watch it on your computer at your house. Talk to people and_______

Me and my friend need help...?
Are you looking for someone to help you fill in the blanks? Are you looking for grammatical help? Do you need help putting in your imagery statements, dialogue, or similes? I'm a teacher and can help. But, I need to know what you are looking for help with exactly.
Reply:I think that we should introduce a fun, new way to learn math skills, interaction with people, and money management, all in one system-- The Shopper 3,002! If you give us 400 dollars of virtual money, we will spend it in a virtual mall. We will be able to go into hese virtual stores and try on virtual clothes which could include hats, sunglasses, and shoes! If you are a fashion fanatic you could get a job at one of the shops and you could learn responsibility. Work hard to impress your bosses and finally get that raise that you’ve been waiting for! Use your earnings wisely to prevent going into debt. Invest your money in a stock and watch it on your home computer. Interact with other shoppers and help people chose the best fashion for their body types!





SIMILIES: A comparison using like or as


Such as: shop like a tiger (shop ruthlessly)


IMAGERY: something that invokes the smell, sound, feel, look, or taste of the virtual mall.


Such as: immerse yourself in the new perfumes from ______. Or Smell the healthy choices we have in the food court.





Dialogue is basically two people talking.





Although your story is good so far, it sounds more like an advertisement than a story. You need to have characters. You need to have action. You need to have a beginning, middle, climax and ending.





Good luck!



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